Yesterday evening we had ham for dinner. Rosie, our large standard poodle, kept a close eye on us while we were having dinner, and made sure to lie down, sit, and stand anywhere close to us while we ate. She treated us friendlier than usual last night, for obvious reasons: she wanted ham. Normally we do not give her our food as a treat, but those cute puppy eyes kept staring up at us, begging for just a small little helping of food, so Brad took pity on her and gave her a tiny piece of ham over by her food dish. She gobbled it up in an instant.
After dinner I noticed we still had a considerable amount of ham left over, so I pushed the grill back to the middle of the counter, so that Rosie couldn't reach it. My intentions were to leave the ham out for another 40 minutes or so, just in case anyone wanted seconds.
Well, somebody did want seconds. . . but not someone I was expecting.
About a half hour went by, and I was causally going about my evening activities when I noticed Rosie sitting at the bottom of the landing, chewing something enthusiastically. "Rosie! What are you eating?" Rosie stopped chewing and looked up at me with big black guilty eyes, her tail vibrating hesitantly. I saw something pink fall from her mouth and heard the "click" of a small ham bone as it fell onto the tiled floor.
Anger rushed through my body as I realized what Rosie had done with the ham dinner. I yelled at her and grabbed her to lead her back to the dog crate. Rosie, knowing that I was mad at her, felt she needed to submit to me and began peeing on the carpet, leaving a small trail of unpleasantness that I would have to clean up later. Well, that just made me angrier so I smacked her bum and yelled at her again.
After putting Rosie in her crate, I went to check on how much ham was left over on the grill, and was astonished by amount I found. Rosie had eaten at least 10 ounces of ham. I groaned as I put the grill in the sink and washed my hands. I knew that Rosie would probably get sick in the middle of the night, like she often does when she eats things she's not supposed to. Unfortunately, Rosie does not like to be let outside at night and will often bark and whine until someone lets her in. I did not want her to disturb the neighbors so I kept her in her crate in the dining room.
Last night as I went to sleep I decided to keep my ears alert in case Rosie started to whine to be let outside. I knew she would want to go out if she felt sick, and I wanted to let her out as quickly as possible so she wouldn't mess up her bed. At about 3:15 in the morning I heard her soft little whimpers and barks enter my ears as I slept. I woke up and jumped out of bed instantly, and rushed into the dining room to her crate, but I was too late. Rosie had soiled her bed and crate and she smelt very bad.
"You stupid dog!" I threw her out into the cold, dark night, not caring how much she would bark and whine for the neighbors. But on the contrary, Rosie kept quiet and did not make a sound, probably because she knew I was mad at her. I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind was too awake by then and I could not return into my lovely state of unconsciousness. Grrrrr!
Daylight finally came and we had to wash Rosie's bed, crate, and the dining room floor, not to mention we had to give her a bath today, even though she just had one yesterday. Stupid, stupid dog! It's a good thing we love her so much.
She's a beautiful dog, but not as innocent as she looks.

But he kept getting bigger...




