Highlight of My Day: June 17 to July 31

I try to focus on at least one good thing that happens in my life everyday to keep me focused on positive events that I sometimes take for granted. I record these "highlights" in my blog as a small mini journal for me to look back on later, as well as to share with others. Here is a glimpse of the pleasant things that happened in my life during June and July:

June 17, 2008: My wedding anniversary! Married 2 years today! Went out to dinner with Brad.

June 18, 2008: Wednesday lunch with family

June 19, 2008: Emma reached her reading goal!

June 20, 2008: Camping trip to the Sand Dunes! Wonderful!

June 21, 2008: Swimming party at the Harman's.

June 22, 2008: Sunday! Relaxed and spent time with family.

June 23, 2008: Emma and Scott started their swimming lessons.

June 24, 2008: I talked to my sister-Susie on the phone. She's so fun!

June 25, 2008: Had a cuddling fest with Scott and Emma.

June 26, 2008: Went shopping with my hubby. I love him so!

June 27, 2008: I had the car! Spent time driving the kids fun places.

June 28, 2008: Our family saw "WALL-E" and loved it!

June 29, 2008: Visited Bruce, Loralee, and the 8 cousins.

June 30, 2008: I had the car again! Drove to see Brad at work.

July 1, 2008: Played with fireworks as a family

July 2, 2008: Flew to Long Beach for our family vacation.

July 3, 2008: Went to Knott's Farm!

July 4, 2008: Spent the 4th of July holiday with family and my friends.

July 5, 2008: Watched Brad baptize Donovan.

July 6, 2008: Spent time with Anissa!

July 7, 2008: We had a wonderful time at the beach!

July 8, 2008: Returned to Utah again. It's nice being home!

July 9, 2008: Brad gave the children and me priesthood blessings.

July 10, 2008: My husband takes such good care of me.

July 11, 2008: My fever is gone! Hooray! I feel healthy.

July 12, 2008: Brad and I watched "The Incredible Hulk"

July 13, 2008: Visited with the Bruce-clan.

July 14, 2008: Stopped by to visit Amanda and her kids.

July 15, 2008: Went out to dinner with Brad's family at Little America in SLC.

July 16, 2008: Enjoyed book club tonight!

July 17, 2008: Chopped off 10 inches of my hair to donate.

July 18, 2008: Spent time with Charlotte and Aksel. CUTE!

July 19, 2008: Made $80 in a small garage sale, and watched "The Dark Knight!"

July 20, 2008: Played "Settlers of Zarahemla" with Brad and his dad, and I WON!

July 21, 2008: Brad and I went on a date to Jamba Juice.

July 22, 2008: I cuddled with Rosie throughout the day.

July 23, 2008: I'm getting new glasses!

July 24, 2008: Went up to the canyons for a Pioneer Day picnic with Bruce and Loralee's family.

July 25, 2008: Took family photos of Bruce and Loralee's family

July 26, 2008: Drove to St. George to visit Scott and Emma!

July 27, 2008: Visited church history sites. Scott and Emma had a wonderful time.

July 28, 2008: Reading "Eclipse" and loving it!

July 29, 2008: Went shopping with my mother-in-law

July 30, 2008: Finished reading my book! Now for the next one. .

July 31, 2008: Attended a service activity with the Young Women.

St. George Weekend

Brad and I decided to go to St. George over Pioneer Day weekend to visit Scott and Emma. The kids were spending some parent-time with their mother for four weeks in La Verkin, and we decided to come on the third weekend, just to spend some time with them.

Our first stop after we picked up Scott and Emma was the Rosenbruch Wildlife Center in southern St. George. They had an amazing wildlife collection in their museum, which we all found interesting and educational. I think Scott and Emma liked seeing the skunk family the best. My favorite part was seeing their exotic insect collection, which Scott and Emma did not appreciate. "It's too creepy," they complained.

We had lunch at Iceberg. The kids argued who would sit next to me.

After lunch, we went to our first church history site: Brigham Young's Winter Home. We thought it was neat how Brigham Young stayed in St. George with his wife, Amelia, every winter for the last four years of his life. He had Mulberry trees planted in his yard to feed silkworm caterpillars for the silk industry, as well as cotton plants and grape vines to help support the saints. We also thought it was neat how President Young had pictures of George Washington throughout his house. Apparently he had a very high respect for the first president of the United States.
There were cicadas everywhere! The males were extremely LOUD and could be heard for about a mile around. Brad thought at first they were imitating sprinkler systems. I told him no, that the shrill sound they make is of their own doing to look for females. Quite amazing creatures. They spend nearly 17 years of their lives underground, getting ready for the process of metamorphism. I had fun explaining the biology to Scott and Emma. Yes, I'm a big insect nut.

After the tour at Brigham Young's house, Brad and I took the kids to Hidden Valley Park, which is at the southern tip of St. George, completely hidden from view. It was a beautiful park, full of large play equipment, tennis courts, and big grassy lawns. We went there mainly because I knew they would have water fountains for the kids to play in. We got there and had a wonderful time getting wet and cooled off. I got wet, too. It was fun!

After getting wet at the park, we checked in at our hotel and went swimming in an indoor pool. This was my first time ever being in an indoor pool. Scott and Emma were very clingy and rarely left me alone while we were swimming, which I found both sweet and annoying. I think they really missed me over the past couple weeks.

On Sunday, we went to see the St. George Temple's visitor center. We spent a while watching video presentations and learning about the history of the temple. We also made a quick stop at the St. George Tabernacle right after lunch. We thought it was very neat to be inside the old sandstone building, listening to the history of the tabernacle, and walking up the old spiral staircase. Our tour guide let us sit at the bench directly behind the podium inside the chapel and told us that we were sitting in the same exact spot all presidents of the church sat, except for Joseph Smith Jr. It was a neat experience hearing the story of Lorenzo Snow told there when he had the revelation on tithing.

It was a wonderful trip! I know it meant a lot to Scott and Emma for us to come visit them.

Being a Stepmother

I love being a full-time stepmother. Scott and Emma are wonderful children and I love them very much, but being a stepmother is not always an easy role for me.

Scott and Emma are with Brad and me about 87% of the time. Brad has full custody of them, and they only see their mother on average once a month throughout the year, about five days during winter break, and six weeks during the summer. When they are gone I often feel a little lost and out of place without them near me. Instead of focusing my daily routine and attention on caring for Scott's and Emma's basic needs, I am left to worry about their care and safety outside my control. I try not to worry, but I am unsuccessful half of the time. To distract myself, I try to take advantage of the lack of parental responsibilities by doing fun things with Brad, getting projects done, or cleaning out the kids' rooms. Keeping busy helps make things a little more pleasant and nice, but at the same time I feel like a part of my identity is missing when the children are gone-- the part of my identity I treasure and love. I love being a mother.

I think the hardest part about being a stepmother is knowing I have limited rights and authority. I may be the one raising Scott and Emma and spending the most time with them, but I am still only a stepparent, and there are times when I have to step back and allow the biological parents to take over. With Brad, I feel as if we are on the same page, and that we are both equals in raising Scott and Emma. We understand each other and we always have the children’s best interest in mind, making us one as a parental unit. With Brad I feel I am the mother of our home, and I always feel loved and appreciated by him. I am grateful for his love and support.

With Brad’s ex-wife, however, I feel as if she wants me to relinquish my role as a parent and treat the children as if I were only their babysitter, or a roommate, and not as a mother-like figure. She has never told me any of this, but I assume from her behavior that that's how she feels about me. This, however, is not realistic, since I am the one raising the children and spending the most quality time with them. The children are bound to love me and I them, and I will always treat them as if they are my natural children, even if I am only their stepparent. I will not love them less simply because they were born to another woman. I will love them as my own because they deserve to be loved unconditionally.

Outside of my relationship with Brad, my favorite role is being a stepmother to Scott and Emma. I love nurturing them and teaching them, and watching them learn new things and grow. As one of Scott’s and Emma’s main primary caregivers, I have become attached to their sweet and trusting personalities. I truly love them and care for them as if they were my own biological children. When they are gone with their mother, I am still their stepmother, thinking about them and praying for them every passing moment. I may be separated from them physically, but I know Scott and Emma think of me often, and remember my love for them. That alone makes being a stepmother worth it.

My goal as a stepmother is to bring an extra sense of motherly security into the lives of two wonderful children whom I love with all my heart. Being a stepmother does not mean I am in a contest to win Scott and Emma’s love, or that I'm trying to take their mother's place. It means I am another parental influence in their lives, wanting them to have happy and secure childhoods so that they can grow up to be smart and happy adults. I want them to feel loved and nurtured while they are young so that they themselves can be good parents to their own children someday. This is my goal.

Pioneer Day Picnic

For Pioneer Day this year, Brad and I went with Bruce and Loralee's family to Milcreek Canyon for a family picnic. We found a beautiful spot underneath a green canopy of oak and maple trees to have our late afternoon lunch. After eating, we spent some time walking alongside the creek, enjoying the natural beauties of the canyons. At the end of our walk, Loralee led the children into the creek to wade in the coolness of the fresh mountain water. This creek was one of the first places Bruce took Loralee when they first began dating years ago.

My New Hairdo

Last Thursday I decided to cut my hair and donate 10 inches to "Locks of Love." I had been debating whether or not I wanted to chop it off for the last several months, but I finally gave in and got it done. It's cute! I'm happy with it.

BEFORE

AFTER

Look at all that hair!

Unpleasantness. . .

Someone has been harassing me on my blog today, and I have suspicions of who it may be, so I've decided to only allow invited individuals to view my blog. If you received an email notice to my blog, this is why.

I am feeling hurt and angry that someone would stoop so low as to try to humiliate me and my family in front of other online bloggers. I cannot allow this to continue.

Thank you to the individuals who have loved and supported me. I appreciate your friendship and loyalty.

Memories. . .

I snagged this from Eva St. Clair's blog and was curious to see if anyone will respond to mine as well. Have fun!

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you know me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

One Little Email

I decided to glance through my old email account this morning. It had been a while since I checked it, so I wanted to see if anything changed. As I began skimming through the emails I wrote in 2006 and 2005 I began having flashbacks of when I first discovered Brad. He and I met in a very high-tech, modern way: over the Internet. Memories began to resurface as I started searching my inbox for the very first message I wrote Brad; the first message that started everything. I smiled when I came across it. I can't believe how quickly time has passed since that day.


I decided to join a few dating sites in the fall of 2004. Having healed emotionally from a previous relationship that lasted for a very long time (4 1/2 years), I was ready to start a new one. To be honest, I only half expected that I would find someone on the Internet, but I thought it would be fun to see who was out there. I still went on dates with young men in my area, and I made sure to attend all the single adult activities and dances. Still, every day I would take a couple of hours of my time to hop on the Internet and go "shopping" for young men. I would glance at different profiles, smile at some and cringe at others, and occasionally write to guys I found interesting. Some would write back and some wouldn't. I learned not to expect too much.

I happened to bump into Brad's profile entirely by chance on March 19, 2005. I saw his picture, his age, and his location, and thought to myself, 'He's good looking, perfect age, and lives in Utah. That sounds encouraging.' I clicked on his photo and began reading more of his information: 29 years old, 6 foot 2, employed, divorced, two children . . . Oh no! I did not want to marry someone who was divorced with children. Too much drama for me. Still, I decided to read his profile anyway, to give him a chance. That was when my interest peaked.

Brad wrote a wonderful description about himself. He wrote about his hobbies, his family life, his children, and his testimony of the gospel. I was taken aback with how much detail he added to his profile, and how perfect his grammar was (you learn to be surprised by this on single sites). I think the part that touched me the most was the way Brad wrote about his children. Being a Child Development major and working with children for many years, I knew good parents when I saw them. I knew without doubt that Brad was a wonderful father to his children and that he loved them very much.

I decided to write Brad immediately after I read his profile. I did not expect him to reply back, so I tried to make my message short and simple. I wanted to let him know that I was impressed with what he wrote, but at the same time I did not want to overwhelm him or scare him off by asking questions. So I wrote this message:


"I loved your profile, Brad. :) It isn't everyday I come across something so well written as that. You sound intelligent, spiritual, talented, and I can tell that you're a great father. I think it's excellent that you're encouraging your son to progress in his artwork, and that you recognize his potential and talent. Very awesome! Keep it up! Take care, and I hope you have a great day! :) Becky"


Brad responded to my message a few hours later, which flattered me and impressed me, so I replied back asking him questions about himself. It did not take long before our email messages grew to daily correspondences, which grew to hourly chats on the instant messenger, which grew to us finally meeting in person, which ended up with us becoming engaged and then married.

One advantage of Internet dating is that Brad and I have an archive of our courtship recorded in black in white. I've gone through my old email account multiple times and laughed at the things we said, mainly because it's humorous to see how much we've changed. I am very grateful that I wrote Brad my short little email, and that I made the effort to broaden my horizons by giving him a chance. He is a wonderful husband and father and I love him very much.

"I love technology... but not as much as you, you see... but I still love technology, always and forever. Always and forever."

Family Vacation in California

Our entire family had a marvelous trip to California at the beginning of July. We stayed at my parents' house in Long Beach for six days total. Here are the highlights of our visit:

Forest Lawn Cemetery

I know this is a rather weird spot to go for fun, but my sisters and I grew up playing at this cemetery and we have lots of pleasant memories. Scott and Emma loved looking at the fishpond and exploring the mausoleum.

Heritage Park and Liberty Park

Craig and Rachel took us to two different parks in Cerritos on Tuesday evening (July 2nd). The parks in Cerritos are GORGEOUS! We played soccer at Liberty Park and Craig showed us the spot where he proposed to Rachel.

Knotts Berry Farm

Scott and Emma had a wonderful first visit to Knotts. Their favorite place was the Geodes Shop located near the entrance by the cowboy show. They looked at various rocks and fossils for about forty minutes and made friends with the shop keeper. I think my favorite part of the visit was when Scott and Emma held 40-million-year-old dinosaur poop and a meteorite. I loved the expression on Emma's face when she found out she was holding fossilized dino-droppings.

Fourth of July

We started off the holiday by going to my home-ward for a pancake breakfast. My Aunt Wendy came with her family for lunch and I had a wonderful time visiting with them. In the afternoon my mom ordered a giant jumper for the kids to play in and Brad and I bought a slip-n-slide, which turned out to be a brilliant idea. Some of my old friends came over to celebrate, including my friend Krista who will be going on her mission to the Philippians shortly.

The El Dorado Nature Center

Rachel and Craig joined us on a family outing to the nature center early Saturday afternoon. The children loved seeing the museum and looking at the wildlife. I think they enjoyed looking at the squirrels on the trails the most. They named all of the squirrels "Moe."

Emma is strong!

"Moe"

Donovan's Baptism

Saturday evening was Donovan's baptism. Donovan and his family have been close friends of mine for the past 10 years and it was great being with them again for Donovan's special day. I was very pleased when Virginia asked Brad to baptize Donovan.

I loved seeing Anissa again!

Corona Del Mar Beach

Monday was our beach day with Susie. This was the first time Brad has even been to the beach in warm weather, so we took advantage of heat and stayed there for several hours. We all had a wonderful time!

Dinner at Spires

My parents treated us to a dinner at our favorite family restaurant on Monday night. I love my parents! I'm grateful that my stepchildren had the chance to get to know them better. I'm also glad that Scott and Emma have formed very fond attachments to my sisters.

Feeding the Rabbits at Long Beach City College

A new favorite family tradition to do with Scott and Emma is taking them to my old college campus to feed the bunnies. My school always has dozens and dozens of rabbits loose on the school grounds that people have released over the years. Scott and Emma love feeding the rabbits and petting them. It's a great family home evening activity!